A while back, I wrote a blog post about covering my silvers with hair color. Some of you may have noticed that I have since decided to stop. In this blog post, I’m sharing my journey with transitioning to silver hair–the how, the why, and a few tips if you’re considering transitioning to silver hair, too.
About one year ago, I decided to give my stylist a pay-cut. No more color or highlights. I haven’t figured out the bottom line as far as time and money, but I’ve invested a lot of both into coloring my hair for the past twenty-plus years. Probably enough money to buy a brand new car. Certainly enough time to write a dozen books.
Instead, I opened a box at home or sat in a salon and paid someone to carefully apply all manner of high-tech chemicals to my hair so that I would not have the dreaded color. At least what I thought was the dreaded color.
Silver. Gray. White.
All of the above. A mixture of the above.
I honestly didn’t even know how much silver hair I had on my head. My stylist once said, “It’s probably at least fifty percent.” What does that even mean? What does that look like? During the frustrating lockdowns years ago, I discovered how much silver I had. And I did not like it. As soon as I could, I returned to the salon and fixed that pesky root problem.
What’s the big deal about silver hair?
It’s no secret that most of the world sees gray hair as a sign of old age. Past your prime. In the twilight of life. Even one health website explains gray hair like this:
The fewer pigment cells in a follicle, the strand of hair no longer contains as much melanin, becoming a more transparent color as it grows, like gray, silver, or white. So basically, gray hair is just a part of the aging process. Nature’s way of signaling to the world that our best years are behind us . . .
Our best years are behind us!? I think this was a transcript for a fun little video between two young commentators who followed it up by saying that gray hair is a way of signaling wisdom and experience.
But the truth is silver is just another hair color. Many women (and men) start seeing silvers as early as their teen years. Search #silversisters on Instagram, and you’ll find women as young as their 20s with as much silver as me!
Transitioning to Silver Hair: My Journey
Since I have clearly been in denial about growing older since I was quite a bit younger, I colored my hair to hide the clear proof. I pretended that my lovely brown (with blond highlights) hair was what God gave me even at fifty and sixty and sixty-five.
I kidded myself into thinking that my colored hair said things like:
I’m vibrant. I’m youthful. I feel like a twenty-year-old. I’m active. I’m capable, smart, fun-loving. Fill in the blank.
Never mind that the lines on my face bear witness to decades of laughter and tears, sips and cheers, prayers and whispers and smiles.
This wisdom is clearly stated in Proverbs:
Gray hair is a crown of glory;
it is gained in a righteous life.
Proverbs 16:31
The Messages I Was Getting
But goodness. It’s hard to shift a life-long pattern. It’s hard to think differently. The magazine covers, movie screens, and IG accounts with gorgeous women and their pretty blonde hair or dark brown hair or red hair silently tell me and many women you are not ___________ enough.
I know I should not listen to them.
But then I also had people IRL (in-real-life, just in case you are like me and didn’t know that particular acronym until recently) tell me that if I let my natural color show, I would definitely look older than I really am.
I listened to them for a while. I know they meant well.
For a long time, I said I’d give up hair coloring when I turned 60. 65. 70. Surely when I start my eighth decade, I’ll be ready to look old. But as the years fast forward, I realize one more truth. I will never want to look old.
But God
An inner voice kept whispering to me. Let it go. Let go of worldly stuff.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
Colossians 3:2
Now I’m not suggesting God whispered to me, “Stop coloring your hair.” I already know what God thinks about me and my pretend hair and my insecurities and my fears. He already told me His truth. Check out Matthew 6:25-34 where we are reminded not to worry about things like clothing, food, drink, and hair color. (I added that last part.)
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
I listened to God’s Word, and I partnered with my young daughter. You see, she’s a thirty-something gal who is smart, lovely, wise, artistic, kind, vibrant and knows acronyms and tweets and all kinds of techie things. She also happens to have her daddy’s hair, streaks of silver started showing up in her 20s. And after 10 years of coloring it, she decided to embrace it.
Wow. (I love when my kids teach me things.)
I could do this too. Be silver.
So one year ago, I joined her and canceled all my hair color appointments and began the process of transitioning to silver hair.
Transitioning to Silver Hair: The How
Are you curious about making the switch? Here are a few steps to get you started:
#1. Shift your word choice.
You probably notice that I haven’t been saying gray hair. Why? Silver is pretty. Gray is drab. It’s a little thing for me, but it helped with the adjustment.
#2. Look in the mirror.
Who are you? Clearly, you are more than your hair. You are more than your hair color. Take some time to reflect on your gifts and how as you’ve grown older and gotten a few silver hairs, you’ve become -er. Er? What’s that? Add -er to any lovely attribute, and there you go. Wiser. Smarter. Patient-er. Peaceful-er. (You get the drift.) Thank the Lord for His presence in this journey.
#3. Look around.
Once I decided to quit the color, I noticed countless women with silver hair, women of all ages. Celebs are embracing the silver these days. Some women are even adding silver to their hair. Is this the reason to ditch the dye? No, but it sure helps to know you aren’t alone.
#4. Find a tribe.
I started following some silver-haired groups on social media who shared tips and tricks for the transition from color to natural silver and helped reframe silver hair as just another beautiful hair color. Their experiences helped me a lot! Here are some ways to get plugged in:
- Search #silversisters on Instagram, and you’ll find countless women of all ages sharing their gray hair transitions.
- Check around Facebook for Silver Sisters or Gray Hair Transition groups.
- Find another IRL woman who is making the jump, too!
#5. Pick a strategy.
Some women choose to go “cold turkey” and let the natural highlights come in. These women call it grombre (gray ombre)–when part of your hair is silver and the ends are dyed. This blog post is filled with ideas for making the silver change.
Because I have short hair, I chose to do major blonde highlights once, and then my stylist just kept cutting until it was all me. One month I had three different hair colors: old brown, highlighted blond, and new silver. It was trendy.
What Did This Change Mean for Me?
For me, this decision was freedom. Free from every-three-week color appointments, free from trying to hide my silver roots, free from the financial strain, free to let go of what I feared.
I’m on the other side of the transition now, and my hair color is one-hundred percent me. I’m fortunate to have some pretty silvers mixed in with the white and dark. I match my sweetheart now who has had silver since we met. Silver that has made him “distinguished,” “a silver fox,” I might add. (Why can’t it be the same for women?)
He’s happy with my silver, but he’d still love me if my hair turned pink.
What If You’re Not Ready?
Finally, I want to acknowledge those who aren’t ready now or never plan to stop coloring their hair.
Awesome! I’m not telling any sister she needs to do this or that. I hope you don’t hear that from me! I’m just sharing my story for those who may be considering this.
I have a 95-year-old aunt, my mother’s last remaining sibling, who will color her hair until she receives her eternal crown. “I don’t want to look old!” she told me on my last visit. And I love her joy and zest for life!
Old age is a gift. Now when I look in the mirror–sometimes admittedly, with shock–I smile and give thanks for every single silver and white hair on my head. Because God counts them. God knows them.
But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-30
God knows me and loves me and gives me the gift of eternal life.
No matter my hair color.
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